Shared humanity and leadership, reflections on leadership

This you will see in every meeting , at every occasion that Europeans meet with Africans. Europeans will always think we know because, ‘we have been there’. We also say as Africans, ‘we know you because we have we known you, and we have seen you over time’. And most of the time this is based on the wrong side of history, and the wrong characters of history. Because when you take the new generation of Europeans and Africans, with access to the internet, they know different things about each other. Still, we still think that we know about each other and most of the time, we've got it wrong.

Talking openly

We have to regain the possibility of having a dialogue, we need to learn again that we can sit down together and have a dialogue. And for me, having a dialogue is being able to tell a story, being able to listen to each other, and being able to ask that question, which makes it possible for the others to openly share their story.

So there are three things we need:

1.     learn how to tell the story, even if it's a story of pain,

2.     learn how to listen,

3.     and learn how to ask that question, which would make the other feelsafe enough to talk about their own joy or pain.

That's how I see it, in order to take away the gap, which consistently exists between us.

African wisdom

I actively use my African wisdom to do the job I'm doing. For example, I bring this to the management teams I'm advising. I share that there is something different to the philosophy of Rene Descartes namely “I think therefore I am”. And I bring into the space the other philosophy of “I am because we are”.  It's not new for my fellow Europeans, but it comes with discomfort and that is a beginning of a possible conversation.

We live in a time now where people are talking only about themselves and about what they have, and we have forgotten to talk about who we are as human beings. So I use African wisdom in order to invite other people, to understand that when you serve, when you serve as a civil servant, you don't serve only because of your salaries. You serve because you are part of the society.

I also see that when we have a problem, when we have a conflict, when we have a misunderstanding with each other, Europeans and Africans, we tend to go back to our own groups. So the African will go to the African Union and the Europeans tend to go to the EU. They look at each other and form a block, and then it becomes a dialogue between two blocks and not between human beings. And then we don't listen to each other.

The most important question is really who we are and which part of ourself  can be shared? Increasingly, Europeans are understanding that they also have to put on a table who they really are. And when somebody has to put something of themselves on the table, they need to ask a question of themselves – which part of myself can I offer to someone? If this happens for both parties,  then the conversation shifts. It becomes personal and more likely honest.

History

We are in the middle of a conversation about history. Are you able to look back and see what you have done? Is there something we should put on the table, in order to heal and grow together? I'm discovering that this is developing in both European and African actors. People wronged you. The sense of being a victim is increasingly being left behind, because people are able to remember what they are, who they are, and what they bring at the table. As I told you in my work, I bring myself to the table.

Before, I had to bring the diplomas, had to tell what I have studied. But now I'm bringing to the table my humanity, myself. Me being me, being who I am - and it’s being more respected and appreciated. So I think we have a chance now to put on the table who we truly are. Good or bad, but it makes it possible that we have a dialogue together. That's how I see it.

The diversity iceberg

You know, when I think of diversity, most of the time I think of the deep level of the iceberg, not the diversity from above the waterline, the one we see. When you go deep, you discover that humanity by different people is almost the same. When you are above the water line, you see superficial differences. You see white or black, a lady or a man. But when we have a conversation, and we learn more about each other, we discover that we all have to eat. We are happy when our kids get married. There are a lot of similarities that we are neglecting, because we think only about differences from outside, about what we have. So if we put in some more time and invest more in knowing what is under the water, we could discover some similarities and we could also discover how to make people smile or laugh.

So it takes two to tango. We are asking both side to invest in discovering the similarities. For too long we have been busy exploiting the useless differences. So if you want to connect, if you want to depart from the same line, and run a marathon together, you have to deepen the connection. You have to try to understand the other. You have to learn more about the other.

Leadership

We have to be very careful of putting all the responsibility for change on the shoulders of leaders. Most of the present leaders are actually incompetent. They are not able to feel the importance of serving humanity, by serving across boundaries. Most of the time leaders act within boundaries. They are leaders of a company, they are leaders of a community of a country. They are leaders of their own group. And when you put on their shoulders more than what they can carry, they're not able to cope with that, they're not able to carry that. We need to choose to be leaders outside of our boundaries.

I live in this country. So in this country, I use my leadership to serve here. When I visit Cape Town, I'm able to use my leadership in Cape Town. So it's not only a matter of leadership, it's also a matter of personal leadership and ownership. Everybody should ask, ‘how am I able to contribute?’ in addition to the question of ‘what do I need’? And then to reframe this and ask, ‘What do I need in order to excel in what I'm doing?’ So owning leadership, on a personal level, but also asking the new generation to develop that kind of leadership, which is inclusive and exists outside of the boundaries. To be frank, maybe my generation will not be successful. Maybe the next generation will be successful because they understand that they are not made only to serve the countries they were born in. They are  here to serve humanity. They talk about climate change, which doesn't choose South Africa or the Netherlands, which doesn't choose a woman or a man, or affect only a gazelle. It concerns everybody.

Such a modern leadership is the leadership which can be applied everywhere, to every living thing. It's a personal leadership and personal ownership. Then we will build another world, and not recreate another Europe or another Africa. In other words, a world where Europeans and Africans could be happy together, not divided. So if you look at the future, there are a lot of possibilities to build up a better world for everybody. The leadership we need at this present moment is personal leadership, ownership and one of kind contribution.

Hasard

I don't know the word in English, but in French the word hasard refers to the question if things happen by chance. In Europe, we believe that we can plan things, and that we can make things happen. We believe strongly in the do-ability of things in Europe. But let us not forget that things sometimes just happen. We say often to ourselves for example that there was always a reason why people met each other.  I will leave people that note, with the invitation to accept both, that you can plan the change you want to see but you can also embrace the change which is coming to you.

Opinions presented belong exclusively to the author(s) and may not represent those of Meridian17.